


Past the Point of No Return

by Excaliburstark



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Immortal Merlin (Merlin), M/M, Magic Revealed, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 07:10:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21070937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Excaliburstark/pseuds/Excaliburstark
Summary: Magic reveal (Along with a few other revelations) at long last. I only recently realised I'd never written one before. Unfortunately I wrote it at 3am so idk how much sense it makes. I hope its readable.Enjoy! :)





	Past the Point of No Return

Merlin always thought he'd have the courage to be the one to tell Arthur that he was a sorcerer, always believed he'd have the chance to explain himself. That after he had Arthur would eventually repeal the ban on magic and spare Merlin his life, maybe even keep him on as his manservant. He'd dreamed so many times of the reveal, of the speeches, the reactions, the fall out.

The fall out

Arthur's stony silence was never an outcome he'd thought of, he had always imagined speech - Fast, violent, soft, slow, angry, understanding. 

It was more disconcerting than anything his mind could ever have created, this horrid repressive nothingness. He felt chilled to the bone, that could just be the rain though or the shock. 

Merlin stumbled, eyes bleary and thoughts addled. He didn't know how far they'd walked or why Arthur hadn't raised his voice or his sword. The foreboding atmosphere quietened Merlin, his complaints remained trapped behind sealed lips but his side still ached something fierce. 

He was still reliving the events. Playing them in his head the same way one would play a flute or a lullaby, snatches of the memories louder than others. 

They'd been sat down, sheltered under a craggy rock in an attempt to stave off the rain.

When he first felt it, it had shaken something in him, rattled him to the core. His fingers has been numb from the cold, his blood froze in his veins but his heart had crashed like waves over broken seashells, swirling over his ribs and playing a tune in his throat. A warning bell. 

He could sense the danger like a pulse, the threat was heady, intoxicating in the way it thrummed under Merlin's skin, tingling like pins and needles.

His dark eyelashes were pointed into stars from the rain, drops clustered there and fell when he blinked, grazing his sharp cheekbones as they slid down. His blue eyes pinpointed as his body reached full alert. Arthur had known immediately that something was wrong. 

He'd withdrawn his sword quickly and quietly and motioned to Merlin that they should stand. They had just reached their feet when they saw him. 

The young sorcerer- A boy no older than sixteen summers, stood before them. He knew he had them trapped; the mossy stone behind their backs, the clearing too open to escape without risk of injury, it was the perfect opportunity. Vengeance glittered in the boy's eyes and his lip curved into a furious twist as he uttered the words. 

As his eyes lit, with glee and gold, Merlin reacted on impulse. He shifted so his body was in front of Arthur's and his own mouth formed damning syllables. He didn't want it to be like this, didn't want to see the young boy's face crumple before visible fear struck like a match blazing, a scared young boy revealed behind the fading smoke. 

Steely determination dominated the boy's face once more, realising magic was no use he darted forward. A weapon shined in his hand, Merlin didn't move, Arthur inhaled sharply behind him, to shout a warning perhaps? But the words stuck in the king's throat and the boy was upon Merlin. 

Merlin flung his hand out and cast a spell. The boy's eyes rolled back into his head, his body repelled backwards by an invisible force. The boy would live but when he'd wake, Merlin did not know. 

Merlin closed his eyes, moved away from Arthur and paused to lean heavily against the stone. He closed his jacket around himself, cocooning his torso. 

And now here they were, walking through the forest with nothing but a hurt anger simmering between them. 

Merlin was lagging behind, a few steps after Arthur. He took the chance to check his side. The boy had got him, the knife had cut his skin like a needle through silk. His blood had slowly leached through the material and his head felt woozy, his breathing had gotten heavier and he could feel cold sweat collect on his brow. He looked pale and pasty, a shade away from death. His sluggish state was starting to irritate Arthur, Merlin could see it in the tension of Arthur's hazy figure, the haughty expression he wore blurred as he turned, mouth opening ready to finally say something just as Merlin collapsed, folding in on himself, forward, downward. 

"Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed, dropping to crouch by his still figure. 

Merlin groaned, a hand clutching his side. He was cold to touch and his eyes were flittering as he tried to keep them open. His head swam and Arthur's voice hummed into the background. Two hands shook Merlin, one on each shoulder. He blinked, grunted. He wanted to sleep. 

"Merlin. You have to stay awake." Merlin turned his face away from the bright light reflecting off the metal armour. 

"...A spell you can do, to heal yourself?" Merlin wondered if the desperate tinge to Arthur's voice was his own delirium setting in because surely Arthur wouldn't care if he died. 

"What would be the point?" Merlin rasped out. 

Arthur's panicked fingers stopped. "What?" 

"You're only bringing me back to execute me anyway." Merlin muttered, his head lolling. 

"Merlin." Arthur sounded heartbroken. 

A moment passed between them, Merlin's hand was going slack in Arthur's. Arthur's finger clenched around his. "Please, heal yourself." 

Merlin shuffled himself up, his back pressing into the bark of the tree propping him up. 

His hand hovered over the wound as he spoke softly. His eyes glowed but the skin didn't stitch back together and the bleeding didn't stem. Merlin leaned his head back, his breath coming in pants. 

"No.. Use." He told Arthur. 

Arthur was as pale as Merlin, his grip hadn't lessened on his hand and his eyes looked watery. "Merlin." He whispered against his hand. "Please." 

"I can't live without you. To sentence you to die would be to sentence myself. So please, do something and then come back to Camelot with me." He admitted. 

Merlin looked at Arthur, his blue eyes pooling with unspilled tears. Merlin turned their intertwined wrists to kiss the back of Arthur's. 

"I'm sorry, I failed you." Merlin's eyes crested in pain as he said it, his voice rough. 

Arthur shook his head viciously. "No. You didn't fail me. You just saved my life." He choked out. 

Merlin put the effort in to lift his mouth to a smile. 

"And now you'll save me once more by saving yourself." He insisted. 

"Arthur." Merlin's hand reached up to rest over Arthur's. "There are some things that even magic cannot fix." 

"But-" Arthur's face crumpled and he moved to shift even closer to Merlin's limp figure. Blood pooled beneath him and Merlin's fingers were lax and cold. 

When he spoke, Arthur saw blood tainted his teeth, he'd seen it in his knights before. It wasn't long now.

"Arthur- I'm sorry." Merlin shuddered hard, teeth clenching. "And I-" 

Arthur fussed over him. "You'll be just fine, Merlin. I order it so." 

Merlin grinned but it looked grim in his deathly state. "As if I've ever listened to your orders." 

He rattled a few more breaths before his chest stilled, his breath fluttering out its last exhale. His eyes closed and his face fell lax, as if in sleep. 

"Merlin." Arthur said softly, tears spilling over now. "Merlin?" 

Arthur rest his head on Merlin's chest, clawed at his sides as he held him closer. He was gone. 

Arthur gripped him, unable to let go, fingers digging into his manservants threadbare clothes and his worn neckerchief. So many words lay trapped, unsaid. They haunted him. "Merlin." He sobbed. 

A golden glow hummed around him as Arthur spoke his name. 

"Merlin?" Arthur said, this time with hope. 

It brightened, golden tendrils grew, spreading out from Merlin's wound. It stitched over the torn skin, washed the blood away revealing pristine skin. 

Merlin jerked upright, gasping, eyes molten gold. 

"Merlin!" Arthur put a hand on his shoulder to help him up but retracted it when Merlin flinched away, looking dazed. 

"What- Where... What happened?" 

"You don't remember?" 

"No, I-" He shook his head then his mouth opened, agape. "Oh." 

"Oh." Arthur repeated, still stunned from the recent events. 

"I died?" Arthur eyes scanning Merlin's features, wondering if this was a trick but Merlin's question was sincere and his heart was beating.

"Are you okay?" Merlin asked, Arthur crushed the urge to laugh. 

He put a hand to Merlin's cheek and leant their heads together. 

"You always ask the silliest questions." He said, then moved forward, his mouth slotting against Merlin's. Merlin gave a little gasp before melting into the embrace, his neck tilted higher as he pressed into the kiss. 

"Don't ever do that again or I'll kill you." Arthur murmured, still holding onto Merlin tight for fear of him slipping away. 

"I won't." Merlin said softly. "I promise." He sealed it with a kiss.


End file.
